


dead and wished to be gone.

by valvet



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Terror, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied Past Injury, M/M, Scurvy, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valvet/pseuds/valvet
Summary: "Maybe if Larry had been there, this wouldn’t have all happened, all of his men dead, dying from lead poisoning and another half of them against him, broken off from the rest, and it was Larry’s fault. Even if the men implied it was that thing in the snow -- it still had to be him, being a martyr was the only thing he’d allow himself to be."
Relationships: Cliff Steele/Larry Trainor
Kudos: 1





	dead and wished to be gone.

__ Sir Niles was dead, this idea -- this perverse act had been flowing in Larry’s mind since the day it happened, he hated the way it felt, how hot his face got under all the bandages when they found his leg, the blood smear all the way into the ice hole, the smell --.

Maybe if Larry had been there, this wouldn’t have all happened, all of his men dead, dying from lead poisoning and another half of them against him, broken off from the rest, and it was Larry’s fault. Even if the men implied it was that  _ thing  _ in the snow -- it still had to be him, being a martyr was the only thing he’d allow himself to be.

Now here he was, another wound had opened up while he slept. When the accident happened, the doctor’s had told him to be gentle with his skin. 

_ “Oh Commander,” _ they’d say, “ _ It wouldn’t be...smart to go back out in your condition,”  _

He should’ve listened -- that damn stubborn attitude brought him all the way out here. It was harder to hide it as well, the blood would seep through his bandages, through his own jacket and he’d spend the night cleaning it out. 

“Shit…” he put a hand to the crisp wound on his shoulder, blistered like the rest of him, but as fresh as the day it happened; if this hadn’t happened; all of this madness, he would’ve asked for his steward to help him out of it, that thing had killed him, torn his legs to shreds and leaving only the idea of a torso. 

The only man around was Cliff -- his breath was always stained of old whiskey and sympathy, perhaps...if he didn’t treat him so harshly, so viciously then Sir Niles would’ve lived.

“Cliff,” Larry hated to bring him into this, he’d already lost everything as well, tearing him down with him wouldn’t do any good, but yet -- even with him, all those times they’d fight, and Christ did they! He was a comforting man, that soft smile he’d give when he was drunken, it made him feel something on his skin again.

Before he could manage another call for Cliff, the wound stretched itself out more, and Larry grasped at the chest in pain.

“Fuck!” 

He came running of course, those heavy steps of a man who’d lost his legs, most of the joints had been rusted by now, never able to carefully tread again. 

Larry could’ve stopped it.

“Larry? Are you -- “ Cliff paused, looking at Larry’s chest, he gave a confused expression, “You got holes in you,”

“I know that Cliff,” even now, in the Arctic, where time stood still and it froze men to death, he felt heat in his face.

“I - Do you know how to treat wounds?”

Cliff went silent, before shaking his head.

“Lar I -- God where did you get it from?!” His steps shouldn’t have been that loud in his head, he stood closer to him., “Can I touch it?”

Oh.

Larry nodded, and Cliff’s steel hand touched it, he was careful though, strangely so, he hadn’t seen him handle him with such care, or anybody at that matter.

“God uh…” He looked down at Larry, “Is it…?”

_ Scurvy _ , Larry wanted to say,  _ damn you of course it is _ . Instead, he felt his eyes begin to tear up.

“Might be…” It was so hard to talk, perhaps God had done this to him, been a sinner all of his time, alas, his judgement day wouldn’t be in heaven, but here. “Cliff I..could you stay?” 

He was so damn selfish.

“If you want me to -- wasn’t going to leave you in the first place,” Larry wished his face didn’t hurt so he could smile at that.

“I’d like that very much, Cliff” 

The entire time, all of the moments they’d spend talking, bickering between each other like a married couple came down to this, which was just dead silence between them. Larry didn’t even mind the fact that once they sat down, his hand laid close to Cliff’s. 

Did he even deserve this company?

“Lar, you’re _ shivering _ ,” Christ, he was; Larry shook his head, clenching his fists against the bed.

“Doesn’t matter I’m fine…” He murmured.

“What -- Larry I’m not having you act like it doesn’t matter!” Here it went again, even without the alcohol he was easy to be tempered.

“Why do  _ you _ care of all people? Shouldn’t you be with Lieutenant Jane?” At least she wouldn’t let people die, would have stayed by Sir Niles and would be a better Commander that he ever was --.

“You are  _ dying  _ Larry! As your Captain I won’t let you act like this --”

“Then it doesn’t matter! Christ Cliff I’m  _ dying _ , I deserve this whole damn mess! I -- I just want you all to live, even if it means I die, my fault anyways for getting us into this,” 

Commander Larry Trainor, the most handsome man in the British Royal Navy began to cry, not harshly, but weak -- he didn’t even deserve this damn job.

Then, Cliff hugged him, it was an odd feeling, the fact most of his body was cold, aside from his chest and face, but…

Larry hugged him back, or at least tried to, his arms felt like they had when his body was on fire, they were there; yes, but not mentally. 

They didn’t have to talk, Larry preferred not for Cliff to talk, but he knew what he wanted to say.

_ I’ve always loved you all along _

“Cliff?” It was now or never, even if he felt his throat close up; “Are we brothers?”

“I..” Cliff seemed to take a minute, he thought about it, “I hope we are -- I really do want to be,” 

It was so hard to ask for what he wanted, but Cliff took his hands in Larry’s and kissed him -- it had to be quick, but Larry couldn’t help but keep him longer, he’d have to. Was it greedy? Perhaps, but he wanted Cliff to stay, so he kissed him, and kissed him and _ kissed him.  _

__ “Stay,” Larry couldn’t even control his own mouth at this point, “I..”

“I know,” He pulled him back into a hug, “I know”

Cliff would stay, not until Larry’s last breath, or when they’d be saved would he ever leave his side.

**Author's Note:**

> CliffLarry scurvy moments.


End file.
